*Phew*
Life is tough.

Resume
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
-- Dorothy Parker

You can see where I found it.

- posted by Rallix @ 6:55 AM 0 comments

 
Errata
Martian is a subset of tribal. Hence Atul is a Martian tribal. Also there can theoretically be demented tribals. And demented urbans.

1. Tribals
2. Urbans
3. Balance

Also another group needs to be defined. Am thinking of a name currently.
Thus the groups need to be defined as a matrix (3X5 should be fine). Rows as above and columns as tribals, martians, dementeds, unnamed and balance.

Also trying to define these so that no confusion remains in the minds of the reader.

- posted by Rallix @ 1:47 AM 1 comments

 
Groupies
I have a large number of friends. As every intelligent being my mind works best if I group the enormous amount of data residing there. Hence the following.

Group A: Tribals. Raju is one.
Group B: Dementeds. Dgr is one.
Group C: Martian. Atul is the only one.
GroupD: Balance.

I must admit the balance is tilted in favour of the disbalanced. Please provide your respective views. And preferences.

- posted by Rallix @ 5:53 AM 0 comments

 
Lose more than just weight
Raju, since you asked for it ... Some amazing weightloss plans across the years...

500 B.C: Vegetarianism: Pythagoras
Diet not to lose weight, but to ensure you are not eating your grandmother or another relative, whose soul could have transmigrated to your neighbour’s pig!

45 B.C.: Puke-ism: Romans in the time of Caesar
There were special rooms in which to expel their feasts. They would purge between courses to make room for the next round! Doesn't make you thin.

1 AD-2000 AD: The Jesus Diet
Almost all diseases and pains can be healed by prayer and fasting. (refer www.jesusdiet.com)

The Middle Ages: Bulimia or ox-hunger
Eat and purge through vomiting. Again, eating a lot is believed to have been a sign of wealth and status.

1800’s: Feverless consumption or hysteria
Victorian form of anorexia- Literally starving oneself to embody the Victorian fad of frailty, which was associated with spiritual purity and femininity. At that time, the aristocracy romanticised people who had tuberculosis.

1910’s: The Mega-Bite Diet
Book written by Horace Fletcher: Chewing each mouthful at least 32 times until it becomes a thin, liquid paste, and any food that can’t be broken down to a gruel consistency has to be spat out.

1920’s-2000s: The Hollywood, 18-day Diet or Grapefruit Diet
Consume only 800 calories a day through eating barrels of ‘fat-burning’ grapefruits so as to kick-start your metabolism. The BIG plus: you can have as much black coffee as you like.

1920s-2000: The Tapeworm Diet
A number of famous women, including supermodel Claudia Schiffer, are alleged to have tried this. Take a pill, get infected by tapeworm which will consume all your food. Ensures you remain thin, no matter how much you eat.

1980s – 2000s: The breatharian diet (also known as the air and sunlight diet)
The Hawa-Pani diet!

from http://www.ivillage.co.uk/dietandfitness/wtmngment/diets/articles/0,,235_176831-1,00.html

- posted by Rallix @ 5:44 AM 0 comments

 
The Vampire Fish of Brazil
Saw the following on TV a few days back. Traumatic. Do not miss paragraph 3 of Food.

Candiru

HABITAT
The candiru is found only in the Amazon and Oranoco Rivers of South America. They do not like the sun and tend to burry themselves in the mud and sand of the river bottom underneath logs and rocks.

FOOD
The candiru has a voracious appetite for blood and will parasitize fish, mammals, and humans. One scientist, while holding a candiru, accidently let it enter a small cut on his hand. It could be seen writhing under the skin towards the vein.

To find a fish, the candiru first tastes the water, trying to locate a water stream that is coming from the gills of a fish. Once such a stream is detected, the candiru follows the stream to its new host and inserts itself inside the gill flap. Spines around its head then pierce the scales of the fish and draws blood while anchoring the candiru in place. The candiru then feeds on the blood by using its mouth as a slurping apparatus and while rasping the long teeth on its top jaw.

When candirus parasitize humans, it is usually only when they are skinny-dipping while urinating in the water. The candiru tastes the urine stream and follows it back to the human. It then swims up the anus and lodges itself somewhere in the urinary tract with its spines. Blood is drawn, and the candiru gorges itself on both the blood and body tissue, its body sometimes expanding due to the amount of blood. This is all said to be very painful for the poor person who has this happen to him or her. Unfortunately, they are almost impossible to remove due to the spines. Amputation of the private areas is the cheapest, and most life-changing, way to remove the fish. Actual surgery is extremely expensive and involves inserting the Xagua plant and the Buitach apple up the urethra. These two plants kill and even dissolve the parasitic fish. If surgery is not done in time, the blockage of the urinary tract will prove fatal. The candiru is the only known vertebrate to parasitize humans.

From http://www.angelfire.com/mo2/animals1/catfish/candiru.html

- posted by Rallix @ 6:36 AM 1 comments

 
And you thought your job stank
Believe me, this is the pits..

"The cosmetics industry goes to great lengths to ensure that you smell good. The effectiveness of both deodorants and antiperspirants is still tested in the old fashioned way, by the human nose.
Volunteer 'sniffers' smell the pits of up to 60 subjects an hour, taking three sniffs per pit, and rating offensive odours on a scale of 1 to 10."

from http://www.wcsscience.com/armpit/odour.html



- posted by Rallix @ 2:52 AM 0 comments

 
I am concerned too
A true incident.. Mail received by the head of my group..

Dear XX YY
Sub: Study project

I am introducing my self. my name is zz.s. My daughter would like to do the project in your esteemed concern. I know :INFOSYS in a big concern. But my daughter future guidance i am asking this requistion. I have so may times contact in your concern. But no body giving better result for me. This project will help us my daughter future. She will study well.
Hence, please take my requistion & give a chance to do the project.
she is studying B.E final year C.Sc.

my office address
zz.s
Blah blah CORPORTION PVT LTD.,
dhichkaon ROAD,
etc-5
Your favourable reply in highly appreciated.
Awaiting your call.
Best regards
s.zz.

- posted by Rallix @ 4:10 AM 0 comments

 
Went to toilet 3 times today lost 2 inches and 4 kgs.
And I am hungry.

- posted by Rallix @ 6:28 AM 1 comments